


Of Velvet and Key Rings

by GrapeJellyfish



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Boys Kissing, Crack, Crafts, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Hippopotamus, Kissing, M/M, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 17:38:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrapeJellyfish/pseuds/GrapeJellyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Crack fic: Everything seemed a little bit strange that week, Kisa having finished a deadline, exhausted and frustrated. A story of love, romance, and I don't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Velvet and Key Rings

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Surprise Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107816) by [GrapeJellyfish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrapeJellyfish/pseuds/GrapeJellyfish). 



> Please bear with this story, as it is an awful spoof of my previous work, 'Surprise Me', that got horribly out of hand. I've been encouraged to post it for all of your enjoyment.

 

“You know I can’t see a thing.” A cautions voice reverberated off of the walls, making Kisa dizzy; as he felt around quickly for the hand he had momentarily lost hold of.

A low chuckle rose out of the darkness as he felt a hand wrap around his. But this wasn’t any hand. For the hand itself was covered from fingernail to forefinger in sticky lil suction cups. It was also scaly, which made the suction cups ouchy. “just wait a little bit Kisa-san.” The voice chucked, deep and raspy, it sounded like Yukina, if he was a large black man named Randal.

            Kisa scowled and shuffled into the gloom, trailing after his scaly companion. He noticed Randal was molting and kept getting his feet tangled in it. “God Randal, keep it together, that’s frickle frackin disgusting.” The small editor exclaimed, attempting to free his foot from the molted suction scales. The scales wiggled in response. Kisa hated Randal. He hated that he had brought him here, to this godforsaken damp cave a day after Marukawa’s deadlines had gone through. Randal assured him things would be all right. They weren’t. Ever since leaving Tokyo he hand encountered one problem after another. First, there were the flying tarantulas. It happened all the time around Randal. Fucking Randal. Then they were held up at the bus station as a pregnant lady went into labor and birthed a fuzzy automobile tire. Fucking Randal said it was charming. And now he had to deal with Randals fucking flaking skin problems. He hated Randal. Fuck that guy! And Randal knew. Oh he most definitely knew. Kisa never said it out loud. But he sang it, all the time he sang. Even when they were in the library he sang about his strong loathing. Randal didn’t care. He thought Kisa had a lovely singing voice. He was hoping that this trip would rekindle their lost friendship.

Years ago Kisa and Randal had been close. But time had changed them, Kisa went to college and got a job at an editing firm, whereas Randal grew about 6 feet and developed a gelatin-like vertebrae that covered his entire exterior before hardening into a suction cupped armor of scaled glory. Randal was proud. Proud indeed. And now he wanted Kisa to see. See his home. See his EMPIRE!!!!

 

Just then Kisa woke with a start. “What the fuck?” He muttered drearily, pressing on his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“hmmm… Kisa-san?” Yukina’s sleep muddled voice wafted out of the darkness as the tiny editor felt two arms wrap around his waist as he was pulled back. Backwards in to the darkness.

“HE HAS RETURNED!!!!” A male voice shrieked, as Kisa found himself sitting upright in some kind of fancy chair. It was adorned with dead roses and dried up plums known as prunes. Looking down, he realized he was also wearing an equally astonishing garment. It appeared to be a long robe made out of red velvet, lined with the finest satin money could buy. The robe was embroidered with images depicting sacrificial offerings in the form of chips, raisins, and the crumbs from peanut butter on toast. Kisa realized he was in a bedroom closet. Surrounded by lost mittens, dryer lint, and bits of string. The nest was very soft and warm and he felt like sleeping for 16 hours a day. He was also wearing leggings. The leggings were black.

“My lord.” A man bowed before him, dressed in a forest green tunic, and wearing leggings that were the exact same as Kisa’s. How embarrassing. Kisa knew one of them had to change… for a few awkward moments the two exchanged glances, but neither of them had the balls to say anything about it. So he continued on. “It has come to our attention that the Prince from several meters sideways and to the left has been captured.

Kisa nodded. He knew what must be done. The small editor/part time hippo prince straightened his flower crown and flattering attire before heading to the dungeons. He paced the pathway quickly, little feet quickly gliding over the dryer lint cobblestones without making a sound. This is why they used dryer lint. It was spectacular insulation. Rarely in the wintertime did they even need to dawn the traditional corduroy sweaters. Made out of the worlds finest nylon. As he neared the prison cells the little prince slowed, holding his hand out, signaling his guards to stop. The guards obeyed and quickly sunk deep into the linty ground. That was the problem with lint, Kisa marveled as he continued onward in his slowed pace, everybody got buried. EVERYBODY. Except Kisa, because he was so tiny. That’s why he was the prince.

“H-hello?” a voice called from the darkness of the furthest cell. Kisa sped up and quickly arrived at the dark, dark, holding cell and placed his little hands on the bars. “I knew it was you.” The tiny prince breathed, peering into the darkness before hesitantly letting the bars go and stepping away.

“I needed to see you.” A figure moved slightly, shadows shifting with the movements as they stood up and took a step further. It was prince Yukina. Kisa knew it. The sparkly prince stepped into the dim closet-light. He was dressed in felt from head to toe. His feet covered in fluffy cotton balls. Pipe cleaners wound their way up his arms and legs, and presumably under his clothing, as they disappeared under deep blue tunic draped over his shoulders. The craft prince smiled, sparkles falling from his hair. His key ring crown shifted slightly on his head as he made a move to grab the Hippo Prince’s wrist. The hippo prince gave a tiny yelp as he was gently tugged back towards the bars, their noses touching as the craft prince leaned closer, sparkles falling onto Kisa’s velvet robes as their eyes met. Kisa’s breath caught in his throat. Never had he been so close to the craft prince in his life! It was forbidden. “I love you.” Yukina muttered, bringing his other hand to Kisa’s chin tilting it slightly as he moved closer, glitter glue lined eyes fluttering shut. Kisa’s breath caught in his throat as their lips met. This wasn’t allowed, this wasn’t meant to happen!!! As the two pulled apart the craft prince smiled sadly. “Always.” He whispered, hand falling from Kisa’s face, back to his side, glitter raining onto the lint-covered floor.

The hippo prince watched as Yukina took a step backwards, to balance on the stings that held the lint in place, for fear of sinking, like the guards had. “I’ll get you out.” The little prince choked, his hand sliding down the bars he didn’t notice he had been gripping. “I’ll get you out…” He repeated weakly, as he noticed the string the craft prince was balanced on beginning to fray. The hippo prince glanced down, the many belts and sashes that wrapped around his waist held the key, he knew that much! He began to search, colorful fabrics lined with gold coins, and toast crumbs… all delicacies, but none precious enough to save the craft prince’s life. “No. No! Where is it?” He turned another scarf over; it’s soft material revealing the brass key needed to free Prince Yukina. Kisa quickly grabbed it and began to fiddle with the lock. It had been jammed full of dryer lint and string!!!!

“Kisa-san!” The craft prince called out, his voice shaky as Kisa’s eyes flew up to meet his. Just then, Yukina’s eyes grew wide and they both heard an echoing “snap!” The young prince’s mouth opened to form a small ‘o’ before he disappeared from view, dropping out of sight and into the snuggly mass of cotton.

 

“NO!” Kisa shrieked. Eyes flying open as he sat, bolt upright, head colliding with an extremely hard surface, nothing the likes of his mitten-y dwellings within the closet. “What?” The small editor rubbed his head, flinching at the pressure, and slid backwards to survey his surroundings. He had fallen asleep; it seemed, underneath his coffee table. Checking the time, he noted it was still Saturday. The deadline had passed only hours ago, resulting in him getting shit faced and apparently passing out under the table. Nursing a headache, the small editor pulled himself up, off the floor and staggered to his bedroom. “How pathetic.” He murmured, falling face first into the soft confines of his bed. “Getting drunk alone…” His eyes fluttered shut as he fought to stay awake. It had been an exhausting week. And what the heck was with that dream? It felt so real… Kisa turned his head to the side, vision blurring as he recalled the details of his little make believe world. “I almost believed it…” He muttered drowsily, his eyelids heavy, urging him to rest once more. The small editor yawned and rolled over eyes fluttering shut, but not before catching a glimpse of something glittery and felt, skirting across the window and disappearing behind his bookcase.


End file.
